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Needs are what motivates us to do the things we do. Our values are what's important to us to meet those needs.
Above is a chart showing what symptoms you might be presenting with today if those needs were not met for you in your childhood. But these unmet needs really do occupy your mind. As mentioned before, these are the driving forces behind human behaviour.Â
If you still don't have those needs met in your adult life, those symptoms get louder and harder to ignore. As a result, these symptoms will stop you in your tracks, so you have 2 options:
Meet those needs so you can live a fulfilling life or create masks to protect your unmet needs and hide those symptoms.Â
Coaching can help you discover those unmet needs, help you meet them, and align them with your values and where you want to be in life.Â
An example of a misalignment
Your need for Love & Belonging created a strong family value for you, yet you are working 70-80 hours a week, therefore, you hardly see your family.Â
This is where the brain can play a massive part by keeping you in the familiarity. Your brain’s job is to keep you safe. Safe = familiar.
As a child growing up, you have always missed one or both of your caregivers/parents because they were at work all the time. This is where your needs were not met for Love & Belonging. However your parents justified their absence by "providing for you" and that's how they showed love.Â
Soon, you have learned that working hard meant caring and loving for your family.Â
The reality remains that YOUR needs were not met. This is where your misalignment comes from. A mixed message between your needs, values, and what your upbringing had taught you.
What are the symptoms?Â
You feel lonely even when you are in a room full of people. You don't feel like you belong here.
You withdraw from social events. No one likes you. No one gets you.
You become the circus monkey at parties to feel that you are liked and loved and that you belong somewhere.Â
Wearing masks to hide these shadows is hard work and can be soul destroying.
If you are ready to drop the masks and get yourself to a chiropractor who can realign your life, then working with a life coach like myself would be a great option for you.